We'll Miss You, John Madden

John Madden's retirement is leaving NFL fans to wonder who will state the painfully obvious now? Madden's insight into the game will be hard to rival...how else would we have learned that the team with the most points at the end of the game is generally the winner? While his understanding of the game was unquestioned (how could it be?), we must not forget his other contributions to broadcasting. Madden's appetite frequently made for comedic genius. I'll never forget watching him cover a San Diego Chargers game (as a commentator, not literally covering it) when they cut to a shot of a local restaurant serving fish tacos. Madden was quick to note that he just wasn't comfortable eating a fish taco, which led me to believe that he rarely wipes his face. But more importantly John Madden made the turduken a household name and not merely something that your crazy relatives from the bayou serve up on Thanksgiving.

Mmm...Turducken...It gives you the meat sweats.

And then there were the Maddenisms which became part of the NFL's lexicon. More often than not they were words of praise directed towards Madden's favorite football player, Brett Favre. The happiness that Madden would exude when calling Favre a "gunslinger" or a "riverboat gambler" is the kind of pure joy usually reserved for the fat kid on the playground providing his commentary to the childlike antics of his friends from the neighborhood as he eats chicken turducken and watches them play. Oh, wait...

It seems like once Brett Favre left the game, Madden waited it out a little to make sure it was fo sho this time and then finally realized that Brett Favre had actually retired this time. Madden just couldn't go on anymore without the man, the myth, the legend in his life.

Favre walking away after sending the heartbreaking text message to Madden.

With the original gunslinger/riverboat gambler leaving football forever, Madden had lost all hope of his dreams coming true.

Madden's dreams of a "bromance" with Brett Favre were crushed. The people of Kiln, MS probably wouldn't have approved anyway.

Madden was apparently devastated about Favre's departure, but someone else was even more crushed about Madden's departure.

Romo: Why must it be this way? John Madden once said that I'm the kind of kind that can walk into a bar, shoot he 8-ball in the pocket, pick up my money and leave. Will anyone ever love me like he loved me?

Yup, that's right...Tony Romo thinks that Madden is a "big meanie" for leaving broadcasting. Who else is going to compare him to the legendary Brett Favre. It sure won't be Troy Aikman. Looks like Romo's going to have to find another cheerleader this season, but who would be silly enough to praise this guy?

Even Jessica Simpson knows that's not how the game is played.

Oh, lawd...here we go again...

Until next time let not your face be wiped, unless you're eating a turducken.

Here's a Terrible Towel, Wipe Your Face

The Pittsburg Steelers come into this Super Bowl, as they do every game, prepared to do some face wiping.



Their rally flag, the Terrible Towel, is not only useful as a tool to wipe your face, but is also symbolic of their old-school ways. The Steelers, the team of the 1970's, play a smash mouth style of football and the rough fibers of their Terrible Towel are almost symbolic of that. I have not felt a Terrible Towel but Pittsburg is a blue-collar, working class town. I really doubt the Terrible Towel is made of Egyptian cotton. Big Ben would lift his nose at such a towel. I have done some thinking about the Terrible Towel and wondered what it would be like if the Steelers had dominated this decade.



Yes, that's right. If the Steelers had dominated this decade they'd be waving the Terrible Sham-Wow in the air. In this day of big money advertisers, and the over-commercialization of the sport I can't help but think that some budding marketing person would attempt this type of product placement. Thankfully, the Steelers are still about the love of the game, and a style of play from another era.

If the Dallas Cowboys, on the otherhand, had a Terrible Towel, I have no doubt that Jerry Jones would license the product out and create the Terrible Sham-Wow. This is the man who has two reality shows based around his team (an HBO show on training camp, and another about the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders). I'd even go as far as to say I wouldn't put a Terrible Snuggie past Jerry Jones.

...but I digress.

With that said, how do I think this Super Bowl is going to turn out? The key to the Steelers being able to proudly wave their terrible towels is to overcome the non-chilly weather in Tampa and to be able to keep pace with the Cardinals offense. Otherwise the Steelers will find themselves using their Terrible Towels to wipe their collective faces.

Obamicon.Me

Unless you have lived under a rock for the past year you have seen the iconic "HOPE" posters depicting Barack Obama's image in a red, white and blue collage. Well, a lot of people have been going to Obamicon.Me to generate posters with their own picture in the same style as the Shepard Fairey original. You have surely seen one of these as a friend of yours facebook profile pic. Well, I decided to make one with my own image and also created a few for well-known sports figures and rappers, as well. Enjoy!

I'm So Proud of Drew Brees, no Romo

The Saints season came to an end yesterday in the final seconds of their game against Carolina. The story of the Saints season this year can best be summed up as scratching on the 8-ball, something I am all too familiar with (if you've ever played pool with me you know..although Friday night at Grits I believe Kris and I won both of our games due to the scratching on the 8-ball syndrome, but I digress). All too often this year we'd see our beloved Saints fall behind early rally back, take the lead and then lose in the closing seconds of the game...four times...so close, yet so far...Still proud of you guys...had a few plays gone differently the season may not be over, but still proud of you guys none the less...

...But lets not dwell on what could have been and focus on an amazing accomplishment by Drew Brees. He finished the season with 5,069 passing yards, just 16 short of breaking Dan Marino's 24-year old record. That's one yard for every Lion's loss this season. Yeah, I went there, which reminds me of a joke I heard...

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Owen.

Owen who?

Owen Sixteen!

Seriously, though, Drew and the entire New Orleans Saints team, we're all proud of you guys and hope that we can see Deuce suit up in black and gold for a little longer...

And then we have Tony Romo...So in the '06 playoffs you botch a snap on the kick and then try to save it and still scratch on the 8-ball, then in '07 you throw an interception in the playoffs ending the season. In all fairness, the Eagles game yesterday wasn't all you're fault, it was just a big clusterf*%k, but you still didn't help matters with the turnovers. And the image of Tony Romo with his face planted in the ground during the third quarter of the game was just too much. Talk about wiping your face. The press conference after the game didn't do much to help either when he said they hope to go to the playoffs next year and win the Superbowl but if not its ok. Spirit of a champion, Tony? Where's the passion for winning, man? That passion for the game? It seems like Romo's too busy being a celebrity to worry about his team and the game.

Although, Tony Romo did apparently fall over in the shower after the game due to a rib injury, I suspect that maybe Jessica Simpson was involved, or possibly T.O., or maybe both but we won't even go there. One of my friends may find that situation to exciting to even think about, but we won't point them out in a public forum.

So in light of all of this I wanted to bring back an old poster I created after Tony's first major scratch on the 8-ball....so for your viewing pleasure:



...and for your auditory pleasure, a humorous song I found by a band called The Athletic Sports Band...

To download "Jessica Simpson is Distracting Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys" click here.

***Disclaimer: Even though I have a black and gold soul and the Saints are my team, I do like the Dallas Cowboys. Don't take my comments about Tony Romo the wrong way...I have nothing against the Cowboys franchise...in fact they are my second favorite NFL team. I do, however, have a hard time getting behind a team comprised of players such as Romo, T.O. and Pac-Man...sorry, Adam Jones.