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N.O.-shot 'Labou,' co-starring C. Ray Nagin, out on DVD

Life is kind of like reading the New Orleans Times-Picayune...you never know what you're gonna get. When I opened up this morning's Lagniappe section I was not ready for this. New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin has done it again...Just when I thought he couldn't top himself.

Excerpt from the T-P (that's the Times-Picayune, not, well, you know...):


In the film, three children get lost in a swamp near New Orleans while hunting for the ghost of a 19th century pirate. During their adventure, they meet the titular swamp creature (whose whistling race -- part Yoda, part Gremlin -- is said to have inspired the birth of jazz music), stumble upon a crooked development deal that can be traced back to City Hall and discover the pirate's treasure.

What a day!

Nagin plays Mayor Adams, New Orleans' corrupt leader, who agrees to seize privately owned land in order to sell it to oil company executives looking for a spot to build a huge refinery, regardless of the effect on the environment. When confronted with revelations about the deal, Mayor Adams responds, "There were offers, but nothing firm was put on the table."

Wait, so Ray Nagin portrays a "fictional" corrupt mayor in this straight to DVD release? and theres pirates? Oh, lawd...This family film was released on May 19 and I will be picking it up ASAP.

Bonus points for the film being "dedicated to the people of New Orleans and their courage to rebuild."

P.S. Do you think at any point in the film our mayor is referred to as 'Curly Head'...if so that would be AWESOME...talk about Baller Blockin'.

I Sit On My Boxers, Me

Yet another example of why I frequently find myself saying "God, I love the New Orleans news." This clip from early 2008 is classic...



Sounds to me like this legislator wanted to make sure no one on the corner had a swagger like us.

As for State Senator Derrick Shepherd who proposed this ban on sagging pants...well, lets just say he got caught with his pants down, not literally.

Groom arrested at wedding reception in spat over saggy pants

In yet another case of Only in New Orleans, I'm reading nola.com this morning and see this headline: Groom arrested at wedding reception in spat over saggy pants. Of course, my initial reaction to the headline was "Oh, lawd, the ACLU is gonna have fun with this one." So I clicked on the article to see what had happened.

The first paragraph just about sums it up perfectly:

A groom was arrested at his own wedding for disturbing the peace after his nephew violated the dress code with low-riding pants, Kenner police said.

Groom John Lucas learns that the Kenner Police will get involved whether its a nephew, a cousin or a brother with their pants saggin'.

Highlights of the article include:

• The fact that this incident occurred in Kenner, bruh (a.k.a. Kenna...a.k.a. Kenya...a.k.a. "America's City")

• "They spent $1,500 on dance lessons and they didn't even get to dance." - two words: white people

• Wait, they spent how much on dance lessons but they were getting married at Crystal Plantation in Kenna, bruh? Apparently everyone was saved from witnessing the worst Cupid Shuffle/Stanky Leg dance of all time...

• The officer told Lucas: "We don't want to see your underwear." - they already see too many Ed Hardy logos in Kenna, bruh...its played out

• "I have beaucoup witnesses. All my cousins and everything said my pants were not sagging." - bahahahaha....oh no he didn't...he definitely dropped the 'beaucoup'

• But the teen-ager said he was actually asking the police to stop hurting his father, who was hit with pepper spray by police. - someone should tell him to wipe his faaace!

• Crystal Plantation's owner: "You have in-laws and you have outlaws."

How much do you wanna bet that the nephew with the saggy pants frequents Esplanade Mall with one leg (the stanky one) rolled up on his Adidas track pants and his matching visor cocked to the side? I guarantee he has a Scarface faceplate on his cell phone that rings "Got Money" when his "boo" calls. He pobably drives a mid to late 90's Mustang with mods. That's just how it is in Kenna, bruh!

New Orleans nabs the 2013 Superbowl

In case any of y'all haven't heard New Orleans was awarded the Super Bowl in 2013!!! It will be our 10th time hosting the event and 7th time at the Louisiana Superdome!!! Today's Times-Picayune has a great piece on the history and significance of our beloved Superdome.

It's a proud day for New Orleans and the state of Louisiana. It seems like a proper time to look back on the first event we held at the Superdome after Hurricane Katrina...the September 25, 2006 game between the New Orleans Saints and the Atlanta (dumpin') Falcons...a 23-3 victory for the Black & Gold was preceeded by what can only be described as an AMAZING pre-game show courtesy of U2, Green Day and Trombone Shorty...This performance still gives me chills...the vibe in New Orleans that day was absolutely surreal.

"The Saints are Coming" live from the Superdome:



To this day this performance is still one of the most played tracks on my iPod and watching this video never seems to get old.

New Orleans: Where We Breed Real Rappers

While reading nola.com Thursday night I noticed an article entitled Lil Wayne saved by alert off duty cop. I immediately clicked on it and was relieved to learn that it was not breaking news but that it was a human (although Wayne doe claim to be a martian) interest story of sorts about how The Best Rapper Alive's life was saved when he accidentally shot himself wen he was 12. While I knew about Lil' Wayne's gun accident when he was even littler, I didn't know of the heroics that this NOPD officer displayed in saving the young Wayne.

Lil' Wayne's been shot twice but he don't walk with a limp.

When this article really became ridiculous to me was when I read the print version the next morning. THE ARTICLE WAS THE FEATURE STORY--FRONT PAGE OF THE TIMES-PICAYUNE! Now, I love Lil' Wayne as much as the next peep, but damn...must have been a slow news day...didn't this event occur in 1994?...I mean I felt like it was Grammy week again (the week of the Awards show, not hell week at a certain sorority house at Tulane) when Weezy F. Baby was on the front page for three consecutive days. Bonus points to the Times-Picayune for using the term "wheezing" to describe Wayne's agony after accidentally shooting himself. If only Lil' Wayne had been saved by a lady cop. Oh-wee-oh-wee-oh-wee...

And then yesterday the local news covered a story than can only be described by saying "Only in New Orleans."

C-Murder joins with ministers to announce anti-violence initiatives

Matching your teeth with your glasses. Very GQ.

Yup, that's right...No Limit rapper and Master P's brother (literally, not figuratively), C-Murder, who is accused of murder is on a crusade against violence in New Orleans.

The highlight of the article on C-Murder hosting an anti-crime press conference has to be this:

Rapper Corey Miller, also known as C-Murder, holds a press conference in Kenner on Tuesday. Because he is under house arrest, he spoke from just inside the doorway.

Until next time let not your face be wiped unless, of course, its a Tuesday or a Thursday in which case you better watch for the sweep.

504 Whips: Rolling for Cereal Edition

A few weeks back I wrote about the "sticker car" trend that has been growing in popularity in New Orleans and posted some pictures of these 504 Whips with candy motifs. While I don't personally have such a passion for any particular kind of candy enough to have my car painted to reflect it, I do understand that some people think that candy is one hell of a snack and want to share this with others...at least its more entertaining than a drab car with a white powder coat paint job right? I get it...some people really love the candy.

I, however, am completely perplexed by another one of the popular themes popping up on these custom "sticker cars." I remember the first time I saw the Frosted Flakes car on Canal Street. All I could think to myself was how much I wanted to go up to the driver and say "Damn, man, you must really like Frosted Flakes." Then I realized that I was stealing a Dane Cook line and refrained from saying anything...although I'm sure Dane Cook borrowed the line from someone else. Anyway...I can't explain exactly how any cereal can be special enough to make your car into a cereal box on rims but it provides me with some amusing eye candy when I'm cruising the streets of New Orleans. So, without further adieu...the second installment of 504 Whips...The Cereal Killers...err I guess Cereal Lovers? Eh, whatever lets examine how some are Rolling for Cereal...grab yourself a bowl and enjoy...add some sugar if you'd like but its counterproductive if you ask me...

Who all seen the Leprechaun say YEAH.

I think he knows where the gold at. Apparently its in the 9th Ward.

Frosty: The taste adults have grown to love.

Note the Wendy's in the background. If you're from New Orleans you recognize this location.

Raisin Bran: Two Scoops One Bowl?

Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!

While I like Corn Flakes, some would say this one is rather "vanilla."

If only Fred could see how far we've come since the original Flintstones car. Ah, progress...

504 Whips: Candy Cars Edition

Even if you think that "...inside peanut butter, outside jelly" is a sandwich reference you've surely seen the Chevy with the butterfly doors or a Cadillac on 22's. These two forms of car customization have become so ubiquitous that every ones seen them at least once, even those people who think "...inside fish sticks, outside tarter sauce..." is something from Long John Silvers. While these trends have been seen across the United States, they are most common in the southeast where they are known as "donks" or "whips."

In New Orleans, however, we are known for taking things to a whole other level. Having Lambo doors and rims so big it makes the car look like its two stories isn't enough in the 504. In the past few years *cough* Katrina *cough* a new trend has emerged in the Crescent City...sticker cars. These cars are modified just like any other tight "whip," but go a step further by being wrapped in custom decals that usually promote a certain product. They kind of look like someone took a NASCAR and said "...throw some D's on that bitch." Commonly seen decal motifs on these rides include candy (ironic), soft drinks cold dranks, cereal, chocolate bars (the snack, not da club) and even alcohol. These "sticker cars" are the latest step in the evolution of pimpin' one's ride.

Next time you're in New Orleans its very possible that you might pull up next to a "sticker car" that can be described as candy on candy. The driver will most likely be grippin' the grain with that seat down low. They probably think they're the only fire that can live in the rain as they roll past you in their ride that's so so New Orleans...like 1825 Tulane...

Courtesy of my peeps at 504 Whips, I bring you some rides that can literally be described as New Orleans' sweetest candy cars...

I see this one traveling the streets of N.O. fairly often. Definately not a lemon.

Skittles: Taste the rainbow, no homo.

Note the front bumper. Was Calvin in Revenge of the Nerds? Because he's goin' R. Kelly on something.

Got candy? Quit fruntin'...I got nothin' else...sorry...moving on...

I wonder if this car's owner is named Mike or Ike. That would be sweet, dude, sweet.

One of the few I haven't seen yet. It reminds me of the corny grandpa/grandchild combo in their old TV commercials though.

Only an airhead would park in a no parking zone, you say? That's just how he rolls...err parks.

Until next time, New Orleans, everybody get your roll on...I've always wanted to say that...

Louisiana Music News

The past week has been a busy one for Louisiana musicians. A new single from New Orleans' premier rockers...the "best rapper alive" playing Scrabble against a well known journalist...3rd Ward's Master P hawking candy bars in a new ad campaign...North Shore's Brit Brit not going batshit crazy...yet.

• New Orleans rockers Better Than Ezra debuted their new single, "Absolutely Still," from the upcoming album Paper Empire on B97 last week. The single will be available for download on iTunes starting on St. Patrick's Day while the album is scheduled for a May release. Get ready! To preview the song click here and scroll down a bit.

• Hollygrove's own Lil' Wayne appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live last week alongside Charlie Gibson. Whats funnier than this odd couple making banter with each other is the skit the two did together. Gibson plays a game of Scrabble against Weezy which is just funny watching an acclaimed journalist play a vocabulary based game against New Orleans' favorite cough syrup addict. Wayne's vocabulary apparently proves triumphant though when he drops the word "CRUNKSWAGGA." Also, watch for the funniest question ever thrown at Charlie Gibson...lets just say I think the journalist learned all kinds of new jargon that evening. Oh, the irony...

• Snickers has a new advertising campaign featuring a certain rapper who reps that Caliope Project 3rd Ward New Orleans. Yup, after all those years Master P is back and in a Snickers commercial. At least he still knows how to make 'em say UHH. I still can't believe some advertising genius thought that Get Some Bling with Master P-Nut was a good idea.

• Britney Spears chose to kick off her world tour at the New Orleans Arena. She wanted to kick it off in her hometown of New Orleans...oh, wait...why did she start it in NOLA again? Isn't she from Kentwood, LA? Oh, well...in the words of Chris Rose from the Times-Picayune she did put the "ho" in Tangipahoa...just kidding...or as her fans say "j/k"...At least she's hot again!