We'll Miss You, John Madden

John Madden's retirement is leaving NFL fans to wonder who will state the painfully obvious now? Madden's insight into the game will be hard to rival...how else would we have learned that the team with the most points at the end of the game is generally the winner? While his understanding of the game was unquestioned (how could it be?), we must not forget his other contributions to broadcasting. Madden's appetite frequently made for comedic genius. I'll never forget watching him cover a San Diego Chargers game (as a commentator, not literally covering it) when they cut to a shot of a local restaurant serving fish tacos. Madden was quick to note that he just wasn't comfortable eating a fish taco, which led me to believe that he rarely wipes his face. But more importantly John Madden made the turduken a household name and not merely something that your crazy relatives from the bayou serve up on Thanksgiving.

Mmm...Turducken...It gives you the meat sweats.

And then there were the Maddenisms which became part of the NFL's lexicon. More often than not they were words of praise directed towards Madden's favorite football player, Brett Favre. The happiness that Madden would exude when calling Favre a "gunslinger" or a "riverboat gambler" is the kind of pure joy usually reserved for the fat kid on the playground providing his commentary to the childlike antics of his friends from the neighborhood as he eats chicken turducken and watches them play. Oh, wait...

It seems like once Brett Favre left the game, Madden waited it out a little to make sure it was fo sho this time and then finally realized that Brett Favre had actually retired this time. Madden just couldn't go on anymore without the man, the myth, the legend in his life.

Favre walking away after sending the heartbreaking text message to Madden.

With the original gunslinger/riverboat gambler leaving football forever, Madden had lost all hope of his dreams coming true.

Madden's dreams of a "bromance" with Brett Favre were crushed. The people of Kiln, MS probably wouldn't have approved anyway.

Madden was apparently devastated about Favre's departure, but someone else was even more crushed about Madden's departure.

Romo: Why must it be this way? John Madden once said that I'm the kind of kind that can walk into a bar, shoot he 8-ball in the pocket, pick up my money and leave. Will anyone ever love me like he loved me?

Yup, that's right...Tony Romo thinks that Madden is a "big meanie" for leaving broadcasting. Who else is going to compare him to the legendary Brett Favre. It sure won't be Troy Aikman. Looks like Romo's going to have to find another cheerleader this season, but who would be silly enough to praise this guy?

Even Jessica Simpson knows that's not how the game is played.

Oh, lawd...here we go again...

Until next time let not your face be wiped, unless you're eating a turducken.

Obamicon.Me

Unless you have lived under a rock for the past year you have seen the iconic "HOPE" posters depicting Barack Obama's image in a red, white and blue collage. Well, a lot of people have been going to Obamicon.Me to generate posters with their own picture in the same style as the Shepard Fairey original. You have surely seen one of these as a friend of yours facebook profile pic. Well, I decided to make one with my own image and also created a few for well-known sports figures and rappers, as well. Enjoy!

Second Week of '09

So Michael Irvin, Paris Hilton, CP3, Waldo Faldo, that guy who sang Summer of '69, a naughty teacher, a cougar in training and Pac-Man Jones walk into a bar...well, not really but that would be a heckuva a joke, wouldn't it?

But, seriously, there has been some crazy stuff going on in the news lately and The Blog Is Hot is there to offer some commentary...



Former Cowboy Michael Irvin says motorist threatened him with a gun

So, Michael Irvin was at a stoplight in Dallas when this happened:

“The passenger pulled out a semiautomatic and I knew what time it was,” Irvin said. “But he said ‘Oh, that’s Michael Irvin, with the Dallas Cowboys.’”

Despite being scared, Irvin said he tried to keep the conversation going.

“So we started talking about the Cowboys and everything,” he said. “Then they got back on the highway.”

Do you think at any point during their exchange Irvin uttered the words "How 'bout them Cowboys?"

He further went on to say this in the interview:

“I tell you what, I’m glad he was a Cowboy fan,” Irvin said.

Are you sure he was a Cowboys fan or was it fellow Dallas Cowboy alum (haha) Pac-Man, err Adam Jones?



Apparently, it wasn't Pac-Man, err Adam Jones since he appeared to be hangin' with his peeps at the time of the alleged incident (the Titans jersey was so he could be "incognito").

But, seriously what do you think the odds are that Michael Irvin was cracked out during this alleged incident? One piece of advice, Mr. Irvin, drugs are bad mmm'kay?

And now on to our favorite celebrity whose famous for well we still aren't sure exactly why she's famous but...You seriously can't make stuff like this up:



Paris Hilton website violated by Trojan-spreaders

Now, that sounds like a Lifestyle decision to me. But, seriously, do you think Matt Leinart got back with her over the weekend? I mean its not like he's practicing for the playoffs or anything. Although, that would mean she was violated by a washed-up Trojan. Sorry, that was just uncalled for...Oh, how I love triple entendres...

Wait, was that a picture of Paris climbing out of a giant bottle of Pepto? See, now that is an ACTUAL news story that would be worth reporting.

Now on to a new story about our beloved CP3 of the local New Orleans Hornets:



University of Missouri basketball player claims to be Chris Paul's cousin

Chris Paul denies any relation with the Mizzou baller. I personally don't see the resemblance and think it sounds like hes trying to increase his draft stock. With that said I am, however, still not convinced that CP3 isn't related to this guy...



Yes, that is Waldo Faldo of Family Matters fame and I do believe he is CP3's cousin. Real, cousin, not the street slang kind of cousin, cousin.

And in a shocking turn of events in the music industry:



Ryan Adams Is Quitting Music, Says Ryan Adams

According to a post on his blog (how self-important are you, Mr. Adams, oh, wait...):

"I am a punch-line and a footnote in what is worse to yell at someone besides 'Free-bird'. I mean, I lost."

In other news Ryan Adams was still performing music...chili-dog...

Can you match the "teacher has inappropriate relations with student" story to the right picture? It's pretty damn easy...

Primary school teacher facing jail for sending lewd texts to schoolboy after grooming him on World of Warcraft



Athletic Trainer Did More Than Tape Ankles, Apparently



The moral of the story is if you play Warcraft you will never have a chance with the Athletic Trainer...well, not that one at least...

This just in...Pac-Man, err Adam Jones appears to be emulating Lil' Wayne. He already has the dreads, knows how to "Make it Rain," has had gun charges levied against him and goes by multiple aliases and now this:



I never thought I would get to say this, but: "Pac-Man, you need to wipe your face!"

I'm So Proud of Drew Brees, no Romo

The Saints season came to an end yesterday in the final seconds of their game against Carolina. The story of the Saints season this year can best be summed up as scratching on the 8-ball, something I am all too familiar with (if you've ever played pool with me you know..although Friday night at Grits I believe Kris and I won both of our games due to the scratching on the 8-ball syndrome, but I digress). All too often this year we'd see our beloved Saints fall behind early rally back, take the lead and then lose in the closing seconds of the game...four times...so close, yet so far...Still proud of you guys...had a few plays gone differently the season may not be over, but still proud of you guys none the less...

...But lets not dwell on what could have been and focus on an amazing accomplishment by Drew Brees. He finished the season with 5,069 passing yards, just 16 short of breaking Dan Marino's 24-year old record. That's one yard for every Lion's loss this season. Yeah, I went there, which reminds me of a joke I heard...

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Owen.

Owen who?

Owen Sixteen!

Seriously, though, Drew and the entire New Orleans Saints team, we're all proud of you guys and hope that we can see Deuce suit up in black and gold for a little longer...

And then we have Tony Romo...So in the '06 playoffs you botch a snap on the kick and then try to save it and still scratch on the 8-ball, then in '07 you throw an interception in the playoffs ending the season. In all fairness, the Eagles game yesterday wasn't all you're fault, it was just a big clusterf*%k, but you still didn't help matters with the turnovers. And the image of Tony Romo with his face planted in the ground during the third quarter of the game was just too much. Talk about wiping your face. The press conference after the game didn't do much to help either when he said they hope to go to the playoffs next year and win the Superbowl but if not its ok. Spirit of a champion, Tony? Where's the passion for winning, man? That passion for the game? It seems like Romo's too busy being a celebrity to worry about his team and the game.

Although, Tony Romo did apparently fall over in the shower after the game due to a rib injury, I suspect that maybe Jessica Simpson was involved, or possibly T.O., or maybe both but we won't even go there. One of my friends may find that situation to exciting to even think about, but we won't point them out in a public forum.

So in light of all of this I wanted to bring back an old poster I created after Tony's first major scratch on the 8-ball....so for your viewing pleasure:



...and for your auditory pleasure, a humorous song I found by a band called The Athletic Sports Band...

To download "Jessica Simpson is Distracting Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys" click here.

***Disclaimer: Even though I have a black and gold soul and the Saints are my team, I do like the Dallas Cowboys. Don't take my comments about Tony Romo the wrong way...I have nothing against the Cowboys franchise...in fact they are my second favorite NFL team. I do, however, have a hard time getting behind a team comprised of players such as Romo, T.O. and Pac-Man...sorry, Adam Jones.