Sunday, February 1, 2009

A Series of One-Liners

No, this post isn't about my night out last night but it still might blow your mind.

Oprah, Stevie Wonder, Maria Shriver pitch Obama

Am I the only one wondering...err, bad choice of words. Let me rephrase this...Has anyone else ever considered if Stevie Wonder ever thought he'd get to see a black man elected President of the United States?

...too soon?

Obama retakes oath of office after inauguration stumble

It's the remix, baby, ya dig?

Ok, I'm gonna make this one a two-liner...ahem...

Am I the only one who wonders if John McCain would have even been physically able to raise his hand for the Oath?

...too soon? At least he can pass the potatoes, though, right?

J. Crew Website Crashes Due To People Searching For Obama Items

I wonder how many times the word "plaided" was typed into the search bar.

Senator Caroline Kennedy? Y'know, things just didn't work out ...

Did I expect this to happen? You betcha!

Saddam's hometown unveils statue dedicated to man who threw shoe at President Bush

Apparently, the police later decided to give the statue the boot...

Former French President Chirac hospitalised after mauling by his clinically depressed poodle

An alternate title for this story was "French Leadership: About As Strong As FDR's Legs"

...too soon?

Another guys know I have a hard time sticking to just one (call me Biden)...I love how the biased media used the term "mauled" as if this poodle were a pitbull or something of the sort...that's almost as bad as the liberal usage of the term "nabbed" I've seen in the Times-Picayune...yeah, you know what I'm talking about...I think it's TERRABULL...

Hackers Crack Into Texas Road Sign, Warn of Zombies Ahead

Is this a nerdy Austinite's idea of a street prank? I personally think it's much cooler to have one of those iconic New Orleans water meter covers...ahem...

Once again I'm not satisfied with just one line so here's a picture of what I hear these signs are being reprogrammed to say... Caroline Kennedy would say "y'know, a picture if worth a thousand words, y'know"...and we all know how many lines that is, right? so much for brevity, ha?

Saints QB Brees named FedEx Air Player of the Year

I love Drew Brees, no Romo.

A Buzzer Is Beaten, Coaches Fight, and Sammy, The Headbutting Owl Gets Ejected

So the Rice owl was ejected from the Tulane game because he headbutted a referee? Sounds like that matchup was for the birds...TERRABULL...Sounds like he FOULED out...TERRABULL...but seriously, the Rice Owl got the mascot equivalant of a red card, which brings me to my Superbowl prediction (a stretch I know, but I didn't want this post to be stingy). I absolutely think the Cardinals will beat the Steelers in a close game. Why do I think this, you ask. Nothing to do with the tired discussion of Arizona's offense versus the tough defense of Pittsburg. It all comes down to one word: snow. The Steelers seemingly function off this stuff...they live in it. The Cardinals, however, are used to dealing with the drought and the weather in sunny Tampa will be just enough to tip the scale in their favor. Now, if the game were being played in Miami, well, that's another story, but we won't dabble in that right now.

Damn all this talk of snow got me talking alot. I guess I used up a lot of lines on that one. Isn't that how it always goes? It kind of reminds me of when it snowed in New Orleans in December and thats all we talked about...sorry I'm babbling on...

...RIP: Weezy the Snowman December 11, 2008 - December 11, 2008...

speaking of Weezy...

Lil Wayne Sits With CBS’ Katie Couric For All Access Grammy Special

Something about hearing Lil' Wayne, Katie Couric and grammy in one sentence just sounds wrong and hilarious at the same time...Even if Weezy doesn't win a single award during next week's ceremony something tells me he'll still be walking away with a few Grammy's...everyone knows he will...

This wound up being a lot longer than I thought it'd be...

That's what she said...

But, seriously, I guess things started out with a series of one-liners and just kind of, well, snowballed from there...oy vey!

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