Thursday, May 21, 2009

Groom arrested at wedding reception in spat over saggy pants

In yet another case of Only in New Orleans, I'm reading this morning and see this headline: Groom arrested at wedding reception in spat over saggy pants. Of course, my initial reaction to the headline was "Oh, lawd, the ACLU is gonna have fun with this one." So I clicked on the article to see what had happened.

The first paragraph just about sums it up perfectly:

A groom was arrested at his own wedding for disturbing the peace after his nephew violated the dress code with low-riding pants, Kenner police said.

Groom John Lucas learns that the Kenner Police will get involved whether its a nephew, a cousin or a brother with their pants saggin'.

Highlights of the article include:

  • The fact that this incident occurred in Kenner, bruh (a.k.a. Kenna...a.k.a. Kenya...a.k.a. "America's City")
  • "They spent $1,500 on dance lessons and they didn't even get to dance." - two words: white people
  • Wait, they spent how much on dance lessons but they were getting married at Crystal Plantation in Kenna, bruh? Apparently everyone was saved from witnessing the worst Cupid Shuffle/Stanky Leg dance of all time...
  • The officer told Lucas: "We don't want to see your underwear." - they already see too many Ed Hardy logos in Kenna, bruh...its played out
  • "I have beaucoup witnesses. All my cousins and everything said my pants were not sagging." - bahahahaha....oh no he didn't...he definitely dropped the 'beaucoup'
  • But the teen-ager said he was actually asking the police to stop hurting his father, who was hit with pepper spray by police. - someone should tell him to wipe his faaace!
  • Crystal Plantation's owner: "You have in-laws and you have outlaws."

How much do you wanna bet that the nephew with the saggy pants frequents Esplanade Mall with one leg (the stanky one) rolled up on his Adidas track pants and his matching visor cocked to the side? I guarantee he has a Scarface faceplate on his cell phone that rings "Got Money" when his "boo" calls. He pobably drives a mid to late 90's Mustang with mods. That's just how it is in Kenna, bruh!

No comments:

Post a Comment